Obsession –
1. the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.

I had a very hard weekend, filled with obsession about a box of cookie mix that is living in my basement. It is lurking there, waiting for me to go down there and open the box, rip open the little foil packet that contains the chocolate drops that are meant to be placed on each shortbread cookie immediately when they come out of the oven, and eat those chocolates. Never mind that the shortbreads wouldn’t have chocolate kisses anymore, that’s not a concern.

How do I know they’re down there just lurking about? I made a batch of them for Christmas, along with all of the other cookies that I made from scratch. I wanted to have one that I didn’t need to make from scratch, and I’ve kept the mix because, 1- I don’t want to waste money, and 2- I could make some for my parents when they’re in town again (they aren’t interested in eating like I do – they want the cookies). The problem is that it’s so much easier on me to just not have that kind of stuff in the house.

So, on Friday I started obsessing about that box of cookie mix in the basement. Here is the exact box that I’m talking about, the box ‘o trouble that lurks in the basement:

I was upset about several things, none of which really merit going into detail about, but the main thing is that my reaction to the stress I was feeling was to eat! I wasn’t hungry, I had plenty of healthy food to eat, I was feeling good physically because I’ve been making progress with my weight loss and fitness goals, but my upsetting thoughts made me want to do what I’ve done so many times: just say “the heck with it all!” and eat whatever I want!

You know what I did though? I didn’t touch that box! Yep, I’m super proud of myself, and I still don’t completely know how I did it. It was all I kept thinking about, obsessing about – that packet of chocolates in the basement. Here’s what I did do though, to keep on my healthy way of eating and exercising:

• I shook up my cardio routine – Instead of working out on my treadmill, I got out my Urban Rebounder. I did a slow walk/jog in my target heart rate zone for 30 minutes while I watched TV. It was just something different to do instead of getting on my treadmill.

• I baked some pineapple upside down cake – I actually like to cook now (unlike my life pre-2004), and when I make something healthy and on plan for me, it makes me feel good. I feel like I am taking good care of myself, like I am taking healthy action to make my life better; I’m not just talking about it. I’ve made the pineapple “cake” before and I knew I liked it, so I was happy to make it so that I’d have something good to eat before I work out (that’s when I eat this).

• I watched the movie Pittsburgh – This movie was key to getting my mind off of the chocolate. It’s super funny, it’s a mockumentary starring Jeff Goldblum as himself. He has a Canadian girlfriend in the movie and to help her stay in the country he took the role of Harold Hill in The Music Man in a regional theater production in his hometown of Pittsburgh.What was so funny about this was that he’s a big star, and here he was doing a stage show in regional theater.He’s kinda goofy and there was also a theme about his friends Ed Begley Jr. and Illiana Douglas (all playing themselves). It really was a hoot and I watched part of it while I was rebounding. I’d recommend it if you’re looking for a good laugh and you like Jeff Goldblum.

• I ate a J?calat Lärabar – Yes, I did eat one Lärabar Friday, but no others last week. You see, they aren’t a part of my weight loss program the Six Week Body Makeover, however I feel super great about this because it’s the only thing that I had “off plan” last week, and it didn’t contain any sugar at all. I also made sure to eat it along with my pre-workout meal, so at least I was hungry. I had a J?calat chocolate mint bar, which contains: organic dates, organic almonds, organic cocoa mass, organic cocoa powder, organic vanilla flavor, and organic peppermint flavor.

Here’s the same box that I bought at Costco on Amazon:



Even though this was not on my plan, I feel that I did a whole lot better than if I’d gotten into that bag of chocolates in the cookie mix, and I didn’t have any sugar! While I am focused on losing the extra pounds, my main focus is staying off of sugar and flour, as well as excess/added sodium, dairy, and unhealthy fats. Now I cannot expect to lose weight as quickly as I will when I follow the 6WBMO to the letter, but I did make big strides by not going for the chocolate.

Would it have been better that I didn’t have the Lärabar at all, and instead gone and beaten my pillow or yelled at the top of my lungs? Yeah, it’s always better to stay away from emotional eating, because eating food isn’t going to help me solve anything. But again, I’m not perfect yet and I think I’m making great progress.

• I looked at what the obsession was covering up – Here’s the real key to all of this: I have to look at what is bothering me that is leading to obsessing about food. Why the obsession, what is that covering up? I examined all of the things that were bothering me, which was really the most important thing that I could do. All of the other stuff was just fluff to change my mood without emotionally eating. If I had done this in the first place, I wouldn’t have needed to try so hard to change my mood with all of the other things I listed above, including the Lärabar (even though I was hungry when I ate that).

If you’re not an emotional eater you might not “get” the obsession I was having about the chocolate, but if you are, I think you’ll understand. Now this story was just Friday’s; on Saturday I was still thinking about eating the chocolate but I had to get my things together to go skiing on Sunday so I had more to keep me busy. I also did my workout on my Urban Rebounder that day for something different.

I did stay on my plan the whole week except for the Lärabar on Friday. I did do 5 cardio sessions of 30 minutes each, 2 body sculpting (using resistance bands) sessions, and I went skiing 2 days, also. I drank 100oz of plain water each day, and everything went really good except for my obsession I’ve told you about here.

I ended up with a 1 pound loss and a .25 inch loss. That brings me to a current weight of 154 and 284.5 inches. So, since January 1st, I’ve dropped 9 pounds and 9.875 inches. One more pound and I’ll be down 10 pounds already. I think I’m doing pretty good, and I feel fabulous. I’m also feeling better because I’m building my upper body strength back up again, something that just slips away if I don’t work on it.

Honestly, I still don’t know exactly how I made it through the weekend without getting into that chocolate. Even with all of the actions I took, it would have been so easy to just eat the stuff. I really need to just get rid of that box since it’s caused me so much angst, however I thought it would be a good thing to keep to make for my parents when they come to town again. It’s really funny, isn’t it, that I’m hanging onto it, I need to just give it away or throw it out. What do you think, would you keep it or pitch it?