I’ve seen this many times before – well-meaning folks pinning all their hopes and dreams of happiness on their weight loss, thinking that once they get to their goal weight that they’ll be happy and fullfilled.
Unfortunately, thinking that weight loss will make you happy can backfire on you – weight loss does not guarantee happiness.
You’ll still be the same person on the inside once you reach your goal weight unless you take action and work on your inner self before or at the same time you work on your outer self. Also, unless you do that inner work, you just might find yourself going back to your old habits and regaining the weight that you lost.
Happiness is an Inside Job
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
— Abraham Lincoln
Happiness has nothing to do with how much you weigh today or how you look. Happiness truly does come from the inside and while your physical being certainly plays into your overall happiness (ex: it’s hard to be super happy when your obesity keeps you immobile), it’s a backwards approach to think that by only changing your physical self that you’ll automatically achieve joy and fulfillment.
It is possible to force yourself to lose weight and get fit (I’ve done this before), all the while struggling against that part of yourself that really doesn’t want to treat yourself with love and respect, that part of you who is sabotaging your peace of mind and inner happiness. On the other end, it’s much easier to lose weight by getting your inner self on track either before you start the physical process of weight loss or at the very least doing so while you’re in the process of creating a fully healthy lifestyle for yourself.
If Life Happiness is Your Goal…
Hey, don’t get me wrong here – it’s sure not a waste of time to lose weight, get fit, and gain loads of energy by creating a healthy lifestyle filled with whole foods and regular exercise, in fact all of these things will help you feel better about yourself, especially the exercise. It’s definitely a worthwhile goal, but if your end goal is happiness, inner peace, and joy, you can reach that goal now!
This is so freeing because it means that you don’t have to wait until the weight comes off before you’re happy! You’re no longer attaching your happiness to an outcome and believe me, this will help you lose weight. It’s a great deal of pressure to put on yourself to think that all your problems will be solved by losing weight and when you instead work on your “inner happy” now, then you are already at your goal.
Reach Your Goal Today
Think about this – you can essentially reach your goal today, isn’t this something? After all, when you drill down to what you really want, on the surface you say that you want to lose weight, but why do you want to lose weight? To look better, to feel better, to have more fun, to live longer, to be pain free or whatever your reason is, and essentially don’t all of these outcomes really come down to you being happy?
So, if you decide to be happy now (and yes, happiness really is a decision), you’ve already reached your goal and you can separate the physical act of weight loss and fitness from your end goal of happiness. If you’ve already reached your end goal of happiness then you can work towards your goal of weight loss, strength building and fitness to increase your quality of life and health, but do it in a much easier and joyful manner. Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun to lose weight as a happy person than as a sad person who thinks they are unhappy because they are overweight?
Separating the Physical from Your Inner Happy
While I do believe that your health and fitness habits need to take a top priority in your daily life, the reason for doing this is so that you can achieve a healthy lifestyle and live life to the the fullest. Let’s face it, it’s kinda hard to feel fulfilled and satisfied in life if you’re living in a body that has low energy, aches and pains from being sedenatary, and is filled with constant food cravings – that’s not my definition of a fulfilled life, and I’m going to bet that it’s not your’s either.
However if you work on the physical this will affect the emotional, mental, and spiritual realms of your life because they all intertwine. If you’re living in a fit, healthy, toned body, you’ll have a much easier time doing all that you want to do in life. This is all true, and the only problem is if you are looking at weight loss as being the cure for your current state of unhappiness.
A further problem that can occur from this state of being (thinking that your unhappiness all stems from your overweight) is that if you do not work on your inner self and find the things in your life that you are happy about now and cultivate them to create more happiness, that unhappiness will more than likely follow you even if you lose weight, and you’ll find yourself either an unhappy thin person or an unhappy person who regained the weight they previously lost.
The More I Think About This, The Clearer It Becomes
Which comes first, the unhappiness or the overweight? I’m going to bet that in most cases the unhappiness comes first and the overweight springs forth from the emotional eating and/or food abuse caused by the unhappiness. So again, what we need to do is work backwards and instead of only trying to solve the issue of the overeating and overweight, instead solve the issue of the unhappiness. Always go to the core of the issue instead of only trying to cure the symptom. The symptom cannot be cured by ignoring the cause of that symptom.
While this post is not an end all be all to your problem of unhappiness, my goal is to open your thinking to the fact that your overweight is really not your problem – the problem, or shall we say challenge, is how you became overweight.
The same goes for me, which is how I can even present this to you today. I’ve used my overweight as the excuse for any unhappiness in my life when it’s just not true – I became overweight because of XYZ, it’s not my overweight that is making me unhappy and while it doesn’t contribute to a fulfilled life, it’s still not the cause of my unhappiness as much as I may have liked to think so at times (because it would be easier to fix that overweight than it would be to work on the underlying issue that causes the unhappiness, which led to the overeating).
This is why I say that the weight loss solution is not simply using a magic pill, powder, or quick fix diet. We must look at our motivations to overeat and abuse ourselves with food and then work on healing those issues if we truly wish to create a whole, healthy, loving and happy lifestyle.
And the best thing about this whole topic is that your happiness is not dependent on your weight – you can decide to be happy now by changing the thoughts that you think. Isn’t that just the best thing that you’ve heard all day? There’s absolutely no reason to wait until you’ve lost weight to be happy. 🙂
So many fall prey to wrapping their happiness around their weight, including myself at times. Great tips on how to put an end to this habit so people can truly live the life of their dreams!
Brandi Magills last blog post..The Beginning of the End
Great article! So many people falsely believe that losing weight will magically wipe away their problems. When I was married to my ex I used to think if I lost weight my marriage would be healed – crazy thought!
Once I figured out who I was and what would make me happy, I left him and chose to live a happy life.
I’ve written a report on Happiness, that you can download from my site.
Well said. I can’t thank you enough for writing a post about mental health.
…we are adding this to Fitness Web tour for the weekend.
A bit off topic, but many health insurance companies are using the BMI (Body Mass Index) to help determine rates.
So while dieting also helps your health, it will also help your pocketbook too!
You are SO right in that happiness comes from inside! 50+ pounds ago, I was hugely unhappy (mainly because I realized I was so unhealthy).
After 18 months or so of taking responsibility of my actions and ‘turning the key in my mind’ regarding what was truly important to me (my kids or the box of white chocolate covered macadamia nuts?)… I started healing on the inside as well.
Great article, Barbara
I really enjoyed this article. These are the types of discussions that we should be having more often, rather than ‘what percentage of carbs should I be eating?’
Stress and drepression lead to 35 pounds of weight gain for me a few years ago. That extra 35 pounds sucked the life out of me. I was sluggish, always felt like I needed a nap, struggled to play with my kids, was embarrassed to take my shirt off, avoided the beach, and a whole slew of other things.
So unhappiness came first, but the weight contributed to more unhappiness and caused a downward spiral.
Until I took a stand and decided that I deserved better. I no longer wanted to simply exist. I wanted to live my life to the fullest. My children and wife certainly deserved that from me as well.
The scale number is not something that makes me happy. Knowing that I discarded 14% body fat doesn’t necessarily make me happy.
But I’ve got to say that having 6 pack abs, knowing that my wife is attracted to me, feeling confident about myself, and being proud of my accomplishments certainly makes me happy!
I’ve got an overwhelming zest for life. Nothing is holding me back. When you live in a healthy body you truly know the definition of freedom.
This is something that came up several times in my Unstoppable Fat Loss audios. Many of the people that I interviewed felt like they were a prisoner of their own making when they were unhealthy.
But they took personal responsibility for where they were and set themselves free.
So, it’s not the fat loss that made me happy, it’s the life that I’ve been able to create because I’m living in optimal health.
Thanks for the thought provoking post. Keep it up. I love it!
Scott Tousignant
So true. These principles apply to all goals in life. Stay in the now and enjoy the journey. Thanks.
Hi JoLynn – this is a powerful post and I bet there’s many women out there who think losing weight will fix their lives.
I have a friend who has been going on for years about how much better her life will be when she loses weight. She’ll go out more, meet people and generally have a better life. But it hasn’t happened and she hasn’t lost weight either. I guess it’s because – as you say – she needs to fix the things that are causing her to over eat first.
Hi Brandi,
Thank you!
I’ve been there myself, thinking that weight loss would make me happy – happiness is NOW, not after getting to your goal weight. 🙂
You are so right on when you say, happiness is an inside job. I hope this article helps many.You are what you decide you are. The power is now. Be happy now. Embrace the emotions that come up for you in the moment and breathe it through. Relax. The truth is there for you always. If it does not align with, you are a beautiful, powerful spiritual being of eternal love and light, then it no longer gets to come along. Be loving and gentle with yourself is key. Breathe. You will know your truth. Be the love and happiness you already are and bless the world.
~Katherine Lia
katherine Lias last blog post..Feminine Essence of who you are