Yesterday I shared with you that I had some realizations about my emotional eating patterns when my parents came to visit last week.
Well you know what? That’s all well and good because I need to understand what my motivations have been to emotionally eat, something that Shrink Yourself has helped me with a LOT, however I also need to move on and stop placing blame where it shouldn’t be.
The Blame Game
You see I’ve invested a lot of time in my adult life in looking back and blaming my upbringing for my overweight, my sugar addiction, and my unhealthy eating habits. But Guess What?! I’ve been thinking back on my childhood today and remembered that I was born to move. I’ve been remembering how badly I wanted a bike so that I could ride wherever my bike (and legs!) would take me and I was even into jogging every day!
I Wanted to Move my Body
No one encouraged me to ride my bike and get some exercise – I wanted to do it. I would ride all over the countryside for miles and miles; it was my freedom. I’d ride 3 miles to get into town and even further out in the country (we lived just outside of town). My bike took me everywhere and I didn’t feel that I was being held back at all just because my parents didn’t get out there and ride with me.
I also got into jogging when I was in grade school, something that I don’t do now (I do paced walking). We would earn patches for jogging a certain number of miles so we would jog around the school during school hours, after school, and I would jog up and down the road I lived on to rack up more miles to earn patches. No one encouraged me to jog either, and I didn’t feel like I had to get anyone else out there jogging along with me.
On top of biking and jogging, I was an avid ice skater. My dad would make an ice pond for us to skate on and I would often go to the ice skating rink to skate for hours. I didn’t sit around, not at all, I was a very active kid and I enjoyed it!
I Chose Some Unhealthy Habits
Somewhere along the way I picked up some unhealthy habits and forgot about my natural desire for health and fitness when all along I was born with the desire to exercise (I think all kids naturally want to move and it’s important to encourage them). Somewhere else along the way I started to identify myself as being someone who fought exercise, someone who really didn’t like it.
How Did This Happen?
I really think that our thoughts and psychology play a huge role in our weight, body image, and how we treat ourselves, which is why I have the tag line in the header of my site, “If diet and exercise were enough, no one would be overweight“.
Here I am, someone who was actually a “born athlete”, someone who didn’t have to be coaxed to move, but over the years I changed my thoughts and put on an unhealthy identity, an identity of someone who doesn’t like to exercise, someone who has to struggle to get a move on.
Change Is Always A Thought Away
The thing is, since I chose an unhealthy, false image, an image I wasn’t born with, I can therefore choose a better thought, a true thought at any time – why not? These are my thoughts, no one else is thinking them, and I can think whatever I want to.
I am sharing this with you today just to illustrate how the thoughts you think are often not even true – if I choose to think that “I’ve never liked exercise”, this isn’t even true. For me, this is more about that part of myself that is rebellious (remember week eleven of Shrink Yourself?), that part of myself that likes to sabotage me. And as far as the blame game, I honestly have let go of most of that in my life already, however this past week I could see that I still had some of those blame thoughts hanging around.
Today it doesn’t matter how I got into unhealthy habits or how I picked up false, negative beliefs – what matters is that in this moment, the present moment, I can always choose a different thought. My thoughts are in my control and I can consciously choose to think empowering, inspiring thoughts.
Your Thoughts Are In Your Hands
I hope this gets you thinking about some of the false thoughts you might think about yourself. In fact, your thoughts are only “true” if you believe they are. 😉
So if you’ve been thinking that you’re a naturally obese person, that “that’s just how it is”, you can always replace that thought with something else – how about starting with something easy to believe like, “I am the thinker of my thoughts and I can always choose a different thought”. Depending on what stage you’re at this could be a lot easier than jumping from “I’ll always be obese” to “I love to eat veggies and exercise”, especially if you strongly believe the former.
Believe me, hanging onto the blame won’t help you lose weight and the way to ensure that you’ll be successful is to get your mind involved. Start choosing some healthy, true thoughts about yourself and create a healthier life in your mind and body – you have complete freedom to think what you want, why not choose thoughts that will help you reach your weight loss goals?
If you’d like more help in changing your thoughts check out my series, 31 Days of Loving Yourself Thin.
I think you are so on here. It’s really hard to be around people that share their negative thoughts and don’t seem to have any positive ones. That’s when I can’t seem to cope. I have a family member that I struggle being around because of this. How do you not fall when you have someone in your face with only negative conversations. How do you control your thoughts when people around you are negative. I try to avoid people when they are throwing off negative vibes because I seem to soak it up. I try not to but I do. Maybe I should find a chant to scream in my head when I hear people being negative and it’s bothering me. I’m off to exercise! Everyone have a blessed day!
That’s so true–I used to spend a lot of time blaming my childhood and my parents for my bad choices. The drinking, the spending, the eating disorder–it was all THEIR fault. I’ve now come to realize that, while there are certainly issues from my childhood that I need to deal with, it was MY CHOICE to respond with unhealthy coping mechanisms and bad habits. I mean, my sister had the EXACT SAME childhood and she didn’t do any of that stuff. Oddly enough, the realization was very empowering. If these were MY choices and not just something that happened to me as a result of events beyond my control, it means that I have the power to change them. Nice!
Jens last blog post..What’s in My Heart
Great Post! So much of our actions are reactions that are learned from our past experiences. If we “walk the path” that has been put before us we are not in control. Maybe we should take steps towards a more positive lifestyle and alter from the “pre-determined” path? Start a new journey and make a conscious effort to recognize your actions. I agree that we can regain control whether it be small steps or not, we should start. Taking small steps….through repetition it should become habit and lead to more self-control.
Mark Salinas
Hi Renee,
Could be a toxic relationship there, it’s hard though when it’s a family member but is it someone who you don’t need to be around much?
If you can remove yourself from that person for the most part that just might be what you need to do. I’m not sure exactly how much to suggest because I don’t know the relationship there, but you need to take care of who you hang around. Even if you’re the most positive person in the world if you hang around those who aren’t they can literally suck you dry.
Feel free to let me know if you want anymore info on that. 🙂
Hi Jen,
“Oddly enough, the realization was very empowering.”….you know why? Because you reclaimed your personal power by taking responsibility for your actions, WTG!! 😀
When we take responsibility for the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful in our life, it means that we have the power to affect positive changes. We’re no longer a victim.
This stuff is so important when it comes to weight loss and healing emotional eating but unfortunately it’s often overlooked and the prescription of a diet and exercise program is given.
Sure, you’ve got to eat well and exercise but if you never do the personal development work that is needed, then you’re going to have a hard time keeping the weight off unless the only reason you’re overweight is because you don’t know how to eat and exercise. 😉
Hi Mark,
“Start a new journey and make a conscious effort”….make a conscious effort, that’s exactly what it’s about.
A conscious effort is required to wake up (become conscious), take responsibility, and drop the blame. Once you do that you’re on your way to taking those baby steps to better health.