So you’ve been trying for weeks, maybe months to “get it in gear” and commit to taking off the weight, however you just cannot seem to find the motivation. You’ve been reading motivational material, analyzing why you can’t get moving, and are beating yourself up mentally because you’re just not feeling it.
There is a part of you that wants so badly to take action, begin an exercise routine, and start eating healthy foods, however you just haven’t been able to get your mojo flowing. What can you do when you continue to struggle to get motivated to lose weight and exercise?
What I suggest is that today (and possibly longer), you take a break if you have been actively trying to get yourself motivated for a while now. I am not suggesting that you give up, but rather that you surrender to your feeling of “non-motivation”; truly let go and feel the essence of having no motivation whatsoever. Now, if you are clinically depressed, that is another topic, and you may need to seek professional assistance. Rather, I am speaking of the “you” who overall has motivation in other areas of your life, but when it comes to implementing a weight loss and exercise program, you are sorely lacking.
What if you don’t know how to surrender? The simplest way to describe this process is that you literally just “sit with it”. Literally, just sit there, accept that you don’t have one iota of motivation to change your habits right now, and stop fighting with yourself. Stop trying to push yourself to be different than what you are today. Wherever you are now, sit there, relax, and feel yourself accept and surrender to your lack of motivation. This is where you are at today. It doesn’t mean that you will always be in this space, but the quickest way out of it is to experience your state of non-motivation fully right now.
The fact that you don’t have the motivation to change has nothing at all to do with your self-worth. It is just where you are at currently, and that’s OK. Please note, that I’m not suggesting that you “give up” and go out and hit every fast food drive-through in town. I’m not speaking of self-sabotage, but rather sitting with and experiencing fully where you are at this very moment in time.
If you continue to gloss over how you feel about changing and keep pushing yourself to be different without ever experiencing where you are now, how can you move past it? That would be similar to driving from point A to point C and denying that there is a point B when that is the required stopping point for gas. Point B is where you are now. You began at point A with some motivation in the past, and you want to get to C where you will be living with greater health, but unless you stop and accept that B is where you are now, you will have a hard time getting to C.
How long will you be at point B? I don’t know, it could be different for everyone. I would suggest that while you are there, you do strive to eat only when hungry and stop when full, no matter what kinds of food that you eat. This is not the point of this exercise however, and you will end up moving out of this space eventually (unless you are deeply depressed, as mentioned above…).
When I “got” how to surrender, it made a huge difference for me in many areas of my life. Again, I wish to stress that this does not mean you give up; you are simply experiencing your personal state of “motivation lack” fully, now, in order that you will be able to eventually move past it . You can still seek out resources for motivation, because you will end up hitting upon something that sparks you and gets you moving, however the goal today and each day is to be here now, exactly as you are.
If you do this exercise, please share how it worked for you, or any questions you may have.
Great post, JoLynn.
So many of us put way too much pressure on ourselves when it comes to losing weight and getting fit. There is SO much power in letting go…thanks for sharing this with us.
Brian
Hi Brian, thanks so much!
I’m glad that you can relate to just letting it go. I think we’ve all been there (no motivation and fighting it) at one time or another.
JoLynn
Curiously inspiring post, JoLynn. It’s right up my street!
I also like what Dr David Burns says: What comes first, motivation or action? Action comes first. You have to prime the pump. Then you will begin o get motivated, and the fluids will flow spontaneously. The error is the belief that motivation comes first.
I’m sure you’ve covered this elsewhere, but I’ll use my “Hey, I’m new here!” card.
Hi Rory,
I love it, you’re using your “Hey, I’m new here!” card! 🙂 That made me smile, thanks!
I have written quite a bit re: action, since you could (for example) read forever, but if you do not take action, nothing will change. My experience of physical exercise is how I relate to it best, since I’m not always motivated before I do it, but afterwards I am much more motivated to continue on.
This post is for when you have tried everything to get yourself motivated, and you’re beating yourself up mentally for not getting a move on (with the qualifier that you aren’t clinically depressed). It’s the act of surrendering to your total and complete lack of motivation, where you are right now. You have to accept where you’re at before you can move forward, otherwise you may never even act, and just stay “stuck”.
Thank you very much for your comment Rory, you gave me a good think on that. I have Dr. Burns’ book “New Mood Therapy” but I haven’t read it for years. I am going to get that back out and read it again. 🙂
All the best,
JoLynn
Yeah, I love Feeling Good – The New Mood Therapy. That book has helped me through some tricky times.
And, I did like your suggestion of surrendering to the moment – it was gentle and understanding, and boy, do we need that at times.
Now, where’s that “subscribe” button…
Boy, did you hit the nail on the head, or what?
Surrendering to a lack of motivation does not mean accepting, but it is an amazing way of dropping the stress right off your back.
And I agree with you on exercise. I have to literally PUSH myself in the door, when I leave an hour later, I am SO happy I went. I focus on the great feeling I will have and that gets me in the door.
And I have no idea what a “Hey! I”m new here!” card is, but I should use it today! LOL!
Hi Kim!
How very funny; Rory’s “hey, I’m new here card!” is getting used again! (LOL!!) 🙂 That’s great, welcome!
Yes, I felt a big relief when I just accepted where I was at with my motivation level. In fact, that really came in handy in regards to a job situation; so it can be applied to weight loss motivation, or any kind of motivation in life.
I, too, feel so much better after exercise, but still do not always want to do it. I do find that the more weeks and months I have behind me that the easier it is, but even so, I often need to push myself.
All the best,
JoLynn